Treading Water

Budget worries are still uppermost in my mind, I am sorry to say. It's all I think about all day, so it is hard to avoid talking or posting about it. When I don't have money I feel ashamed and worthless because I don't earn enough to get by, and when I do have money I feel embarrassed and that I don't deserve it. Let's not even venture into the land of asking for help. People keep telling me I am not a bad person because I earn a low wage, but having things and eating food are a huge part of our identity as Americans. Hours are being cut at work and it seems like every day I find out that someone else is not absent, they got laid off. It is scary and worrisome and I can't put it out of my mind that if the company does not do well, we might literally be out of a job. Naturally worrying makes my performance suffer, which makes me worry more ... you can see where that is going to lead. I will have to take some nice, distracting pictures of the garden to substitute as blog posts for a while.