Time for another post of 'things I have learned at the new job'
- Being pretty is the most important thing. Everyone needs either more surgery, less surgery, to gain weight, to lose weight, to date above their level or to date below their level. Also, the closer you are to 'perfect', the smaller the imperfections upon which you will be judged.
- It is OK to have a prayer meeting and take communion right in the office during the work day. Bonus points if the phone is ringing.
- Bragging how you give a dollar to a homeless person - but only if they do not ask for it - but won't support social aid programs is hip.
- Saying 'Can you get that? Thanks' means that you don't have to answer the phone, no matter what you are or are not doing.
- By the time I drink enough coffee to wake up, it is time to curtail caffeine intake so that I can get to sleep later.
- When tanning, don't forget to hold your buttcheeks open so your crack will be tan too. Bonus points for slathering on tanning oil and roasting. However, if you put sunblock on your face, you won't get cancer.
In other news, my car might be fixed tomorrow! I am not entirely sure when I will be able to go get it, but it will be nice to have it back. Time to go bumper sticker shopping.
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